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How to Get a Guy to Ask You Out

You’ve been hanging out with this cute guy and you’re really into him, but he’s not making any moves! Here’s how to get a guy to ask you out in just a few easy steps.

You can feel it — there are definitely sparks flying every time you two are together. There’s a real connection between the two of you, and it’s only a matter of time before he asks you out on a date, right?

Right?

Unfortunately, it seems like he just isn’t interested in making any romantic moves. You start questioning yourself: is he just not into you? Should you give up hope and look somewhere else for love?

Here’s the thing: it’s entirely possible that he’s just not feeling it. Maybe you’re reading too much into his actions, and he really has no intention of going for a deeper relationship with you. That’s perfectly fine. It happens. Just cut your losses and move on.

On the other hand, it’s also possible that you’re blocking your own path to success. Are your actions turning him off? Are you sending the wrong signals? Perhaps he feels like he has no chance with you, and so won’t make a move.

If you really like a guy and you think he’s worth the effort, don’t hold back. We know just how to get a guy to ask you out, and we’re ready share. Read on and you might just get the man of your dreams to take you on a romantic date within the week.

Make sure your body language is open and inviting.

So, you are super into him — but does your body language match your heart’s intent? Your body reveals a lot of information without you saying anything at all. This is why you need to be very intentional with how you project when you’re together.

You don’t want appear closed off! Make sure that you’re facing him when he speaks, and keep your arms uncrossed. Smile, play with your hair, touch his arm lightly — all of these actions exhibit that he is welcome into your personal space.

Always look good.
The ever stylish Coco Chanel would never leave the house with a hair out of place, as she considered every outing a possible date is destiny. You might not be a fashion icon, but the same principle holds true for you.

You never know when you’ll run into the man you’re interested in, so you don’t want to get caught unawares, right? Imagine running into him when you’re wearing unwashed sweats and have ratty second day hair! That would be the ultimate disaster for your dating life.

Don’t get us wrong: it’s not like you have to get a full blowout and go dress shopping every few days just to impress him. Honestly, there is a level of confidence that comes from knowing that you look good, and it translates itself into how you carry yourself and how you interact with others.

Don’t try too hard.
Nothing turns a guy off faster than desperation. If you’re always clinging on to him and trying to corner him every time you have the opportunity, soon he’ll try to run as far away from you as possible.

Interactions should be light and fun — if you’re coming on too strong then that puts undue pressure on the guy. Instead of making him feel welcome and inviting him to be more comfortable around you, you’re making things awkward and he’ll avoid you rather than put up with it.

Stay calm, keep your emotions in check, and try to keep things fun and enjoyable for the both of you. It’s not ideal to get completely twisted every time he’s around — that’s not good for either you or him and no relationship is possible when no one’s having fun.

Another tip: don’t dress way too sexily just to get him to ask you out. Showing off too much skin isn’t sexy and he’ll see it as a sad and desperate ploy. Not a good look, and not effective at all.

Be ready to listen.
Relationships are built on friendship, and if you want him to be interested, you’ll have to show that you’re someone he can lean on. Be attentive and really listen to what he’s sharing with you.

When you let the conversations get to a genuine, heartfelt level, you’re building up a rapport that won’t be easily replaceable. He’s not going to get that same connection with just some random woman he runs into at a bar.

Building on friendship is a solid way to get the connection that you want, and to help a romantic relationship blossom into reality.

Flirtatious banter is an absolute must.
So we said you need to build on friendship — that’s true. However, you don’t want to send the wrong signals and make him feel like that’s all you intend to offer. Flirting is definitely a must if you want him to know that he’s got an opening and should definitely try and ask you out.

But a lot of women aren’t sure how to flirt properly, so it becomes a rather difficult challenge. A lot of it is in your body language, so you definitely have to send the right vibes. Smile at him from across the room, playfully touch him when you’re together — these are small things you can do to make him see that you’re interested in more than just friendship.

Jokes are very helpful, too, when you want to send signals but don’t want to be too direct. Make a playful mention of you two dating and see how he responds. It’s a good way to make him entertain the idea of asking you out.

Show him special treatment.
Let’s clarify this: you don’t want to be the girl who blatantly dominates every conversation at the water cooler just so she can keep his attention. That’s desperate, not cute and definitely not a good way to get him interested.

We’re talking small things that make him feel special. Did he mention his favorite childhood candy a few days ago? Buy him a couple and leave them on his desk with a small note. Showing that you’re paying attention and giving him special treatment that you don’t accord the other guys in your shared social circle will send the right signals and let him know that he’s got a shot with you.

Help him with his tasks, give him small tokens of appreciation, and just make sure that he feels that special treatment.

Pay him compliments from time to time.
The key here is to be genuine with your compliments! If you lie or flatter him too much, he’ll see right through the ruse and it’ll turn him off. The last thing you want is to sound like a sycophant!

It also helps to not be too lewd with your compliments. Don’t say anything too sexual, as you’re in the early stages of your connection and being too much is the fastest way to push him away.

Compliment his new haircut, or talk about how his shirt matches his eyes. These are small details that can boost his confidence without making him feel like you’re just buttering him up. Bonus: if he feels more confident, he becomes more likely to ask you out.

Make every interaction a fun one.
You want him to associate you with a feeling of light-heartedness and joy. If you exude negativity in any way, shape, or form, that’s how he’s going to see you from now on. No one wants to be with someone who’s constantly sending out negative vibes.

Instead, establish a fun rapport that focuses on joyful interaction. Just hang out without any expectations, and do try to keep the situation fun. Exchange jokes, talk about light topics, and generally maintain a bubble that’s completely free of misery.

Avoid oversharing negative thoughts and feelings. He doesn’t need to hear about this annoying coworker you really hate, and he definitely doesn’t need to know about that one ex you’re still hung up on.

Don’t dump on yourself, either, even if you’re doing so in a joking manner. Self-deprecation is okay, but in small doses. If you spend all your time putting yourself down, he’ll see that negativity as a real red flag and will be discouraged from getting closer to you.

Be yourself.
It’s tempting to build a fake persona to get a guy to like you. After all, we all have our hangups and we all have these insecurities. It can seem like a good idea to build an entirely new personality just to become more attractive to the guy.

However, you probably have better chances at getting him to ask you out by simply being yourself. This is because maintaining a fake persona is tiring and soon cracks will appear. He’ll be able to see right through your charade and it’ll turn him off.

Instead, let your real personality shine through.

Look for shared interests.
You want to show him that you can be a part of his life in the long run. Shared interests go a long way if you want a real relationship.

Start by listening to what he’s sharing. What does he talk about often? Is he into sports, or sci-fi movies, or music? Pay attention and see if you have anything in common.

When you do find that shared connection, make sure to let him know. Start your conversations about the latest game if he’s a basketball guy, or talk about the new sci-fi movie coming out.

What if you don’t have shared interests? Don’t fake it. Instead, show that you’re interested in trying out new hobbies. Join him when he goes on his usual hike, or play pool with him when he asks.

At the very least, this will let him know that you are open to new things and will be willing to join him in his interests. Show that you’re easygoing and that you’ll be a fun person to spend time with — that’s how to get a guy to ask you out.

Don’t be too available.
We mentioned that being too desperate and clingy will push the guy away, and it’s true. At the same time, being too available will make him think you’re always right there waiting and he might start taking you for granted.

Don’t jump at every single text, and definitely don’t be at his beck and call! Respond in a timely manner, but you don’t have to be trailing after him all the time.

Playing coy can be a good strategy so he knows he doesn’t have you yet, and he’ll have to make a move if he wants to actually lock you down.

Always stay in control of yourself.
Say you’re out and about with him and few of your other friends. Don’t get wasted and black out drunk! First of all, this will make you lose control and you might end up making a fool of yourself in front of everyone.

Second, when you’re completely drunk and lack self-control, you won’t have the opportunity to interact with him in a proper and productive manner. You won’t be able to do any of the steps mentioned here and you’re very likely going to leave a terrible impression on him.

Keep cool, don’t act a fool, and stay sober!

Be direct and ask him out instead.
Here’s the thing: if you’re really interested and you think he’s worth your while, there’s no reason not to do the asking yourself. You don’t have to wait for him to make the move, because you can go ahead and ask him out instead.

At the very least, it eliminates the guesswork. Now you don’t have to worry about what he thinks, because you can go ahead and get it done. If he says no, then it’s no skin off your back. At least now you’ll be free to move on and find someone who likes you back.

If he says yes then congratulations! You’ve got yourself a date and a potential romantic relationship in the works.